A Good Day

As I stood waiting to cross at the corner of rectory and york, watching the cars go past, looking at the empty mini mall and remembering the old stores that used to be in it, I saw the ghost of myself, and others. How many times had I walked up and down that road as a child/ teenager? how many times had I walked while dreaming of bigger and better things for myself.

How many times had my mom and I walked to the old grocery store in that mall that no longer existed. How often had my dad driven up and down this road in his black 2000 F150, bought groceries on his way home? Never knowing what lay ahead for him.

When I was a kid, we were poor. I was always taken care of, but we were poor, and when I lived in this particular end of the city we really had a tough time financially because my dad had no sense when it came to money (I suspect a lot of his money went to the race track) and my mom didn’t work. It was as if we were repeating the financial struggle that my grandmother had when raising 5 kids in that very same home.

My mother often expressed regret for raising me in poverty, if it weren’t for some very supportive family members we would have ended up on social assistance,or in government housing. She instilled within me the importance of getting an education and making something of myself. My mother was not perfect, but I am thankful that she instilled a small sense of worthiness within me. I was worth more than run down apartments and lack of food security.

I made her a promise, that I would dig myself out of poverty, that I would do better. I wanted an education, and I wanted to own my own business, and even more than that I wanted to give back to my community.

It hit me as I waited for the light to change, that I had come so far in my life from that quiet kid who dreamed of something better. I was realizing it, I mean, did I really just do an interview on live t.v about opening my own business? It was so surreal

I am a doula, a mom, an entrepreneur. And since those days of walking back and forth to school I have lost family, friends, my sense of safety, but since then I’ve gained (added) family members, gained more true friends, and a sense of self awareness.

My life then was not simple, nor easy, and in fact it was about to get much worse then I could have imagined, but I’m proud of myself for fighting through, for never giving up on what was important to me.

and now I’m left wondering what else life has in store for me, what amazing adventure is ahead of me with my new business, what will I learn, what will I gain?